Wembley Flag

A Languedoc Bluebirds flag was a definite necessity for the FA cup final- so here it is.

I never felt more like singing the Blues

Wemberley

“We’re the famous Cardiff City and we’re going to Wemberley, Wemberley!!”. It must have been a hell of a shock for the many City fans arriving at Wembley for the semi-final to discover that it is actually spelt “W_E_M_B_L_E_Y”. Mind you, this has foxed England fans for many years now, who believe that they support a team called “Ingerland” who play at “Wemberley”. T’s amazing they ever get to a match. I can imagine them wondering for hours around London looking for this mythical “Wemberley”, ignoring all directions to “Wembley Central” or “Wembley Park”, “Why isn’t our national stadium on the tube?” they cry.



Wear the shirt

God but it was fun going to the semi final and watching City win. Unbelievable. I can’t believe I was there, and can’t believe I’m going to be there again on May 17th. But there I will be, with overpriced ticket in my sticky hands, happily shelling out for overpriced programmes, beer and pies. Little change will be had from an obscene amount of money I am not prepared to divulge (you may remember that I live in France).

One of the key decisions that needed to be taken for the semi final was what to wear. Which was my ‘lucky’ shirt? Should I wear a shirt I had never worn before? Should I wear my as yet unworn 2007/8 city shirt or my old city shirt from the 50s? or the one from the 60s? Or should I wear my 1927 club shirt? This year’s model? Lst year’s? maybe I shouldn’t wear a City shirt at all? To be safe, before I left France I packed every possible option, and on the day, fortunately the weather took care of the decision. With snow pouring down the decision was easy: I would wear them all.

But now I am left with an even bigger problem. Having forked out a million pounds or so for a special commemorative City shirt (black, of course), AND a commemorative 1927 club shirt my choices are even wider. AND, to make matters more complicated Mrs Socrates is coming to the final as well, and she wants to know what shirt she should wear. How should I know? I am having my own sartorial and superstition nightmare – don’t bring yours in too! Do I stick with the lucky three shirts I wore for the Barnsley match, or do risk a new shirt? What’s the weather going to be like? It’s lovely and sunny here in France, but London in May? Who knows? But I think that’s it – leave it to the last minute, let the weather decide . It may not be feasible to wear all six shirts – no wait a minute, that’s seven, I forgot about my new ‘Robin Friday’-style stripey shirt - I intend bringing, but who knows? It may snow again.

My biggest fear is that we’ll miss the game while Mrs S is still unable to decide what to wear to the match. Just as long as it’s blue. Or black. Or maybe with yellow and white stripes…. Aaaargh!!


Money

According to the local Welsh press City have made over £2m from their FA cup run in prizes, gate money and TV rights, and that’s beore they get to the final, sell lots of extra new shirts, loads and loads of season tickets etc. God the whole thing must have made millions. And yet what is Mr Ridsdale saying? “All our players are for sale”. Bloody hell. “All the players have a price”. OK, he says the price has gone up, but by how much? And does anyone really want to buy Steve Thompson?

Optimistically I had hoped that next season we might have a few new players, not a few less. But there you go.


FA Cup strikers

One of the stupidest decisions I have seen Dave Jones make (and really there haven’t been that many) was playing Parry in the West Brom game. The previous week I had been chatting with a number of City fans who all unanimously agreed that Parry needed a rest. He had played (up until then) virtually every game, and ran and ran and ran. Shirley the sensible thing to do before the semi final was to give the man a rest? This turned out to be horribly prescient, as Parry was, as you know, injured and has missed loads of games since then, including the semi final, and all of us are crossing our fingers that he is fit for the final.

Meanwhile, it seems there is an outside chance of Robbie Fowler making a comeback for the final – or at least being on the bench. Hard to believe, but there you go. Jones has expressed a worry though, that Fowler hasn’t “done any running”. However, this didn’t seem to affect his game before the injury, and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink has played almost an entire season without doing any running…

We’re all grateful though that we can turn to the services of Steve “thommohawk” Thompson. What has happened to him since his bananaboat injury? I know he never used to score goals, but he always looked like he was useful, like he served a purpose on the pitch. Now he doesn’t even serve a porpoise. (A contender for pointless surreal pun of the year?).

As for Warren Feeney, it is such a blow he’s cup-tied, when he’s doing so well at the moment in the league. Altogether now “We’ve lost that Warren Feeney, oh that Warren feeney, we’ve lost that Warren Feeney now he’s gone, gone, gone.. Woah-oh-oh”. Ok, technically he hasn’t gone. Yet.


Losing in the league winning in the cup

Our recent form has been really lousy, especially against Scunthorpe and Wolves. But generally our away form this season has been pretty terrible, apart from in the cup. City haven’t managed ONE away win in 2008, and in their last 12 away games have managed one win and six draws. Meanwhile during the same period City have won four cup games away from home. Strange, but true.

Sweet FA and lovely Michel

First the English FA announces that there is no way City would be allowed to play in the UEFA Cup should they win the FA Cup. Then Michel Platini (what a great player he was) the current head of UEFA announces that UEFA would be very unhappy if the English FA didn’t let Cardiff play in the UEFA Cup should they win the FA Cup. The English FA thinks about their bid to hold the World Cup in 2018, and thinks about the support it needs from UEFA, and then the English FA announces that if City win the FA Cup they will qualify for the UEFA Cup. Yippee.

The the following item appears in the paper: “Former FAW secretary Alun Evans says the FA's plan to allow Cardiff to play in Europe if they win the FA Cup is a "backward step" for Welsh football.” The Mr Ridsdale throws his toys out of the pram and says Cardiff may leave the Welsh FA then.

What a load of nonsense. Maybe Mr Ridsdale needs to note a couple of things:

1. Alun Evans has always been an annoying tosser who makes outlandishly stupid statements that the welsh press love to quote.

2. Alun Evans is the FORMER FAW secretary. So who cares?


Cup final songs

It’s always nice to finish on a song. So I assume that all of you have heard the latest hit single recorded by a very famous person who none of us have ever heard of featuring the fantastic lines “at the helm is Peter Ridsdale” (stop laughing at the back, boy – no – you, with the Leeds shirt, stop it). Anyway, I’ll be singing along. Not with that pile of shite though. I really like the Helen Love/Super Furry Animals cup final song: Cardiff City Superstars. Get yours here: http://www.ccmb.co.uk/superstarswembley.mp3

I also quite like this: Leighton James Don't Like Us:

O Bluebird of Happiness

Why a bluebird? Sam’s criticism of our nickname and mascot, and symbol
of the club I’m sure has set many thinking. We are the Bluebirds, and
we want to stay the Bluebirds, and we’re called the Bluebirds
because.....

Well, many fans (who have read Graham Lloyd’s excellent ‘C’mon City’)
will have an idea that City’s founder Bart Wilson got the name from a
play ‘The Blue Bird’ by Maurice Maeterlinck, a Belgian playwright and
poet, which was playing in Cardiff at the time Wilson changed the
shirts to blue, the name to Cardiff City, and we entered the football
league. What many won’t know is that Maeterlinck is actually that
famed elusive character - a famous Belgian, who wrote many symbolist
plays, stories and poems (over 60 volumes) and was a winner of the
Nobel prize for Literature in 1911. But why Maeterlinck? (Who was more
likely to be an Anderlecht supporter than anything else), and why this
play? Perhaps it helps to know that the play was ‘an allegorical
fantasy conceived as a play for children that denies the reality of
death’ - a tale of two children searching for the Bluebird of
Happiness - actually written in 1909, with the shadow of World War 1
looming large. It also helps to know that the play was extremely well
known, and had been made into a film a number of times, even by 1920 -
the most notable being in 1918, by surrealist/symbolist French film
director Maurice Tourneur.

The search for the Bluebird of Happiness is perhaps the key to all of
this. For, it transpires, the Bluebird is not (like I’m sure many of
you, like me, thought) a mythological creature, but a real bird, an
inhabitant (mainly) of America, a relative of the plain old thrush,
and historically it is said(this apparently originates from Shamanism)
‘the Bluebird brings happiness, joy and contentment. All birds are
messengers to the Great Spirit. Therefore, whenever you see Bluebird,
ask for happiness and your prayer will fly to Sky Father on the wings
of Bluebird.’

Thus the symbolism of “There’ll be blue birds over the white cliffs
of Dover..”

and the probably less well-known:

“Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singin' a song
Nothin' but blue skies from now on”

(Blue Skies - Irving Berlin, 1934).

There have also been other lesser known songs featuring bluebirds, for
example ‘Bluebird Of Happiness’ as sung by Frank Sinatra, and
‘Bluebird’ sung by Anne Murray.

Of course the symbolism of the bluebird was not lost on Bart Wilson,
nor on others at the time - for example Sir Malcolm Campbell, who
named his famous world-beating car ‘The Bluebird’

So, the Bluebird is a symbol of optimism, of hope and of happiness.
Not something, I would suggest, that Cardiff should lose. It’s a shame
that the history and knowledge of the symbolism of the bluebird has
all but disappeared, but I would suggest that the problem would not
have even arisen had the most famous bluebird tune gone “There’ll be
bluebirds over the grey slates of Grangetown..”

And what’s Sam’s alternative to the Bluebird? A dragon. Whilst no one
would argue that the dragon is a fine symbol of Wales, and a magical
symbol, like the Bluebird, that invokes the history and magic of
Wales, it is hard to forget that the dragon was slain by that Maltese
symbol of England, St. George, and who needs reminding of that? So
let’s stick with a positive symbol, a symbol of hope, happiness and
joy, a bluebird.

And perhaps we should forget all the debates about whether the
Bluebirds should run out to the sound of the Super Furry Animals or
Catatonia or The Manic Street Preachers, and go back to the days of
Bart Wilson and run out, as they did in those days, to the sounds of
‘Happy Days are Here Again’.

Whatever the tune, I know what we’ll all be shouting:
“Blooooooooooobirds!”

The Final Countdown...starts here

Guess where I was on Sunday.

England are you listening

Keep your trophy glistening

We're coming in May

To take it away

Walking in a Cardiff wonderland.

What a weekend. It's hard to believe it, but the Bluebirds have reached the final. Yes the FA Cup final. So many good things about that....

Que sera sera

Put the champagne on ice

we're going to Wembley twice

Que sera sera

All Blacks

City will be wearing black at Wembley for "good footballing reasons" according to the official website .  They think wearing white shorts will cause them "considerable difficulty with regards to distinguishing which players to pass to". From what I've seen this season the kit colour hasn't made any difference to this. At Colchester last Saturday, despite wearing all black, this seemed not to improve passing to the right player.

But it's the "lucky kit", obviously. Until they lose. Then the lucky kit will be a different one. Let's hope that's at the Charity Shield, eh?

WEMBLEY!

We're the famous Cardiff City and we're going to Wemberly, Wemberly, Wemberly

Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, we're going to Wemberly.

Socrates is going to Wembley, his knees have gone all trembly, la la la la, la la la la.

Good to get all that out of the system.

Art Wanted?

I kind of like this widget, but Blogger doesn't seem too keen...

America, Jesus, Islam and France

Just a few images I found on the internet that mused me this week:

Reach out and touch toast. Ever seen John Waters' "Pecker"? Great film. "Full of Grace!".
Nor me.

They'll never find Osama

I agree. Absolutely.
See above.
Now this is more like it.

Bricks, the FAW. And what the hell is wrong with Blogger?

Fancy a brick? For a mere sixty odd quid you can buy a brick from Cardiff City with your name or some other text on it. Like "Jones Out!" or the more surreal "I like cheese" or my personal favourite "Je ne regrette rien". Sadly, despite this exciting innovation no one at CCFC has learned to spell: "Seperate the two lines with a coma" the website advises. (click here). Presumably this coma is induced by watching one of City's FAW Cup games. Interestingly (more interesting than the game) the Newport side that knocked City out of the FAW cup featured more players with City first team experience than the city side did. But then again they did have a range of ex-Bluebird heroes such as Jason Bowen, Lee Jarman and damon "Not a Girl" Searle. Great stuff.

Meanwhile Blogger is driving me mad I tell you. Can't cut and paste properly any more, things moved around so that words get split. Bloody hell, it's almost enough to make you go back to WordPress. Anyway,  I've changed to black because I got sick of the sight of my old Blog, and i thought that might help things, seeing as how I'd played with the html. But no. Now I just have a black, depressing Blog. Strangely still popular in Belgium. Hello Belgium! Get a life!

More unedited TBL stuff

Doomed

As predicted in the last issue of TBL, Jones has been sacked and the bluebirds inevitable tumble to the bottom of the table has continued. Thank god I didn’t have any money on that. But what changes has the wily Mr
Jones made? Has he brought in new players? No. Has he instituted new tactics? No. What has he done? Played Parry up front. That’s about it really, apart from playing Gunter for a couple of games before flogging him to Spurs. But Parry up front? How has that worked? It’s not like it hasn’t been tried before – and failed miserably. Can anyone explain it? The worrying thing is I don’t think Jones can, eithe

r: he has one tactic and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It clearly helps though when we’re all calling for Jones’ head. So “Jones out!” I say.

One thing Jones really is inconsistent at – and I challenge anyone to dispute this – is buying/picking strikers.  Chopra – brilliant. Jerome – fantastic. Fowler - er.. Hasselbaink – hmm… Byrne – ha ha ha. But he does get points for selling them for lots of money. We got loads of money for Jerome and Chopra (I make it about £9m – what happened to that money eh?), and as for the reported £500,000 for Steve McLean: What? Half a

 million? Bloody hell. It is reported that Sturrock at Plymouth who managed him before (crucially before he broke his leg) really rates him. As someone I know said, it’s a shame we didn’t have an old bit of rope he used to tether his dog with that we could flog him. (Cheers Darren).

 

But as another person I know says, it may turn out that McLean comes good at Plymouth, like Lee at Ipswich. On the other hand, why was Fleetwood let go? How many goals has he scored at Forest Green? 175,000? How much were Crew prepared to pay for him? £28? I may be confused there…

Robbie Fowler’s tragic
He wear’s a tragic hat. And when he signed for Cardiff he said “oh no there goes my back”. Strange to hear that D

ave Jones was on a radio phone in recently attacking David Giles’ attack on Fowler in the Western mail. (And  if you find a clumsier sentence in this issue of TBL please write to the Editor). It’s hard to believe Jones wants him for another year even though he can barely walk – unless of course the reported £15,000 plus a week deal depended on appearances. Or maybe Fowler is Jones’ landlord and he doesn’t want him to get too upset about the stains on the wallpaper.

Genius supporters 

The recently reported story of the City “fan” (or as ably described by the Echo: “football thug”) being banned from football grounds for another five years after breaking his existing ban to watch City v Wolves. Colin Cody was originally banned for six years after his involvement in the little bit of bother at the famous Leeds game in 2002. Adding to his genius credentials he was locked up in jail in 2004 after driving a van into the front of Fairwater Police Station, shouting “I did it for the Soul Crew”. The first thing he does after coming out is to head for Ninian Park. In addition to his banning order and a 12 month community rehabilitation order, Cody was ordered by the judge to take part in “an enhanced thinking skills programme”. An “enhanced thinking skills programme”?? It makes you think, eh? Actually it turns out this is a real programme, and appears to have been pioneered in Gwent. I used my thinking to work that out. Well, actually, it was Google. Same thing really. 

New Kit Old Kit

Having realised that many people preferred to buy an old fashioned shirt from TOFFS, or to stick “Fowler 8” on the back of an old blue T Shirt which looks vaguely like an old city shirt from 1953 (or was that only me?), City have decided to cash in and asked fans to choose a “new” badge and shirt, based on old-style options. Unsurprisingly fans chose the 70s style shirt with the stripes that is most associated with the photo of Robin Friday sticking his fingers up at the Luton keeper he’s just beaten, and chose the last but one badge – the one that Hammam got rid of th

at everyone liked. However, I predict a problem in replica shirt sales etc: many people have already GOT the 70s shirt and won’t both to buy a new one, and many people have still got their pre-Hammam mugs, keyrings etc, that they can now get out of their drawers. Or carry on using because they never cared that much anyway. Also, you can already buy a fake old-fashioned style stripey shirt from the club shop, made of cotton and costing less than a new replica shirt. So why would anyone buy a new replica next season? Especially when a blue t shirt is so much cheaper. And that “Fowler 8” might last another season yet. 

The (non) return of Earnie and the story of the messageboard 

Want to get a story in the national press? Make up a silly rumour and spread it on the Cardiff City Mad message board. Personally, I haven’t looked at the messageboard for a long, long time (so if you see anyone called Gary Socrates posting there it’s not me – it’s happened before), but it appears a lot of people do, including the local south Wales press, when they’re short of a story or two. “Earnie’s coming back to City on loan” writes some fantasist authoritatively on the messageboard, then the rumour gets printed in the Echo or the Western Mail. Next thing you know it’s on the BBC website (because those hacks haven’t got any better way of getting stories than scanning local papers) and someone’s phoning Earnie and he’s denying the whole thing, and Paul Jewell’s making comments and so on. It’s easy see. It was on my blog this summer where I wrote how stupid transfer rumours were, and that there was bound to be a rumour soon that Hasselbaink was coming to Cardiff after Leicester had knocked him back. See what happened? (Actually I deny all knowledge and refuse to take the blame for that one). On the other hand, have you heard the story about Bellamy coming to city on loan? No? Nor me. Yet.

 Transfer window

 Out of the transfer window (Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! SPLAT!) goes Byrne, Gunter and McLean (no-one else as I write). In comes…..  Enckleman. A premiership goalie with loads of experience. Well. Not really: Since Blackburn signed him in November 2003 he’s played a grand total of 3 games. Awe-inspiring, eh? It’s not that I think we desperately need new players. Well, no,  actually it is. Hasselbaink is no good, Fowler is injured and possibly finished, Sinclair and Scimeca don’t look like making an early return, and with these players out and gone it is clear we’re short a full back, a goalie (maybe – see above), and a forward. Up front we’ve got Parry, Hasselbaink and Thommo. With Warren Feeney to return to fitness sometime in February, it is rumoured. In midfield we’ve got cover from the kids: Blake and Ramsay, but our squad is getting really threadbare. And if the rumours about bids for Ledley, Parry and Thomson finally happen before the end of January we’re unlikely to replace any of them with anyone worth signing. Now that number 44 (Gunter) has gone, the highest squad number is now 36 (Hasselbaink). But that’s misleading (it’s his age next birthday) because the following numbers are all missing: 9, 17, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 32, 33, 34, and 35. And number 31 is 17 year old youth goalkeeper Josh McGuiness. We’re doomed I tell you. Jones out!

City star in World Cup

Cardiff coach Charlie Cook has been called up to play for the Turks and Caicos islands in a qualifier against St Lucia. 35 year old Cook(unfortunately nothing to do with the ex-Chelsea star Charlie Cooke) lived there for a few years and qualifies – and has played for them before. They’ve picked him because he turns out regularly for Grange Quins. After this call up,expect Dave Jones to give him a game or two, and then try to flog him on to
Spurs.

A quick bit of internet research into the Turks and Caicos Islands football team is ranked 168^th in the world. The FIFA website says that Beaches FC are top of their league, while their own website at www.football.tc, gives you the news that Turquoise look like winning the 2006/7 season. Hmmm, there’s a well maintained
website. Also, down the bottom of the site is the following message:


"CALLING TC ISLANDERS - YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU


If you originate from the Turks & Caicos Islands and are playing soccer overseas you could be eligible to represent the Turks & Caicos Islands in future international competitions. Click here for more information."

Unfortunately, there's nothing there to click – which is why I guess 35 year old City coaches get called up.

TBL won’t pay me to go and write a report of the crucial St Lucia game, so if you want to follow Charlie Cook’s fortunes you’ll just have to sort it out for yourself.

New Design

I have also decided to blind anyone who tries to read my blog.

and can I really mess with the fonts like what Blogger say, as it were?

Hey, we'll soon see.

Widget

This post to my blog is done via a new widget on my dashboard. Life doesn't get more exciting than that.

There is no reason in England's dreaming

The English are a strange race. I say this as someone who considers themselves to be half English, but obviously I am not strange. They have extraordinary - I was going to say 'faith' but that's wrong, no they have extraordinary arrogance about themselves. Obviously this includes their hapless football team, not to mention their rugby and cricket teams, but also about other aspects of the 'English Way Of Life'. I obviously have to deal with the football first. I still can't believe how much they screwed up. I will admit that the other night, when Israel won and gave England their chance to qualify (with only a draw at home) I though how sweet it would be for them to lose to Croatia (even though I can't stand those anti-semitic nazis), but I never believed it would happen. I even thought at 93 minutes with the game over that Andorra were going to score an unlikely equaliser against Russia to put England through, just what normally happens to those lucky buggers. But no, the dream came true. OK, accuse me of Schadenfreude (especially as Wales were managing a draw away at Germany at the same time), I can take it. It's just the way the English are so smug.  They feel they have a right to qualify for the European Championships - and the World Cup of course - if not a right to win the damn thing. Why? The England football team have not been as good as many European teams now for many years - Germany, Italy, France, Croatia, Holland, Spain, Portugal, the Czech Republic - all of these teams (and possibly some others: Turkey, Russia, Greece...) have performed better than England on a regular basis. But, the English wail, we've got such great players: Gerrard, Rooney, Lampard, Ferdinand, Diver - oops, I mean Owen,... yeah, yeah, yeah.  And to a point this is true: these are good players. But the Italians, French, Dutch etc all have good players too. Some of them better. And this is pretty obvious, since many of them actually play in England, so you would think the english might notice. They also might notice that the bloke who played that glorious through pass for Olic to score Croatia's second goal plays for Arsenal .... reserves.

Some respected commentators (good lord, including the normally intelligent David Conn) are suggesting the fault is that too many foreigners play in the Premier league. No, the problem is far more obvious than that: the players are not as good as they think they are - and their manager is truly hopeless. If you think about it, if English players were any good, far more of them would be playing abroad, for big teams like Barcelona, Real Madrid, Milan etc. But no, only Beckham plays abroad (for the high powered LA Galaxy) and we all know about that. Apart from that there was Hargreaves in Germany, recently - but that's because he's really German (or Canadian, or Welsh) and  otherwise there doesn't seem to be a lot of foreign managers desperately looking at British talent. Except for the perennial bizarre rumour that Barca want the terminally incompetent Lampard.

But it is not just in their attitude towards sport that the english have their unfounded superiority complex. With the ongoing industrial and political disputes here in France, it has been interesting to read what the English viewpoint is. Generally, commentators keep repeating, thye French way of life is impossible, they are due for a major economic disaster to befall them, and that Sarkosy will lead them towards the Thatcher/Blair light where everything will be perfect. It is true that the French have economic problems - there is a large debt, and a problem with a large Black economy because of the perceived high levels of direct and indirect taxation. But the full picture is more interesting. Those same reports might mention in passing that French workers are the most productive workers in Europe for the hours they work, but for some reason the commentators believe they should stop doing reasonable 35 hour weeks with decent lunch hours, and work the British way. Forgetting that British workers (actually the reports usually say English, so let's stick with that) are the least productive hourly. Actually, this is usually mentioned in a different article slagging off trade unions and again in a different article praising Polish workers - which is a different article again to the one complaining about all the immigrants taking jobs away from the english. (Hmmm, that sounds similar to the football argument, doesn't it?). And as for debt, no it is true, the UK does not have the same level of debt, on the face of it, to the French. Except that that is not quite the case really, because UK debt just doesn't show on paper - because instead of the normal method of borrowing favoured by most countries (and people), by borrowing money from a bank and repaying plus interest over however many years this has been greed, successive UK governments have raised cash by selling off the family silver. The french may owe money, but at least they still own their schools, hospitals, government buildings, government departments - and their army while we're at it. In the UK all of this has been parcelled over to the private sector in a PFI initiative. Whilst France might get further in debt, the UK is going to end up with nothing to borrow against.

But of course the English are right. Who on earth wants a two hour lunch break? Who wants a 35 hour week? Who wants decent holidays? Who wants excellent health care? Who wants an excellent schools system? Who wants to retire at 50? Who wants protection for the poor?

The UK relies more and more upon the private and voluntary sectors to deliver services and to support its vulnerable people. The argument that the public sector is not able to deliver such services as well surely no longer holds water? The evidence is all around that privatisation of public services, and the subsequent demoralisation of state staff by depicting them as lazy incompetent wastrels, and paying them low wages for what are deemed 'low-value' jobs (i.e. teachers, firemen, nurses) has been a disaster. Thatcher, followed by Blair and now brown have laid waste to England. The English boast of the success of their economy (whilst growth levels tumble and unemployment rises) at the same time as complaining about how awful things are: floods, the price of petrol, foot and mouth, the NHS, teachers..... and yet the English really think the French aspire to be like them. Well, maybe a few do in Paris, as they look at their wages in comparison to the UK. But who can afford to live in the UK? Fewer and fewer. More houses needed, population getting older...

The French have problems. The English have problems. Meanwhile the French have great public services, great wine, great food and a football team that qualifies for the European Championship. The French know this. Do the English?

Robbie Fowler's magic...

I should be supporting an exciting team that splashes out enormous wages for huge stars, instead I find myself supporting a bunch of duffers with two very old slow, lazy duffers up front. I think it's time to start with Thompson and McLean. Alternatively get Feeney back from the Jacks, and Green back from the Donkeys. Did someone mention Jason Byrne? Is he still here? Aaaaargh!.

At least Feeney's got a good song.