LifeisTOOSHort

Summer at the City

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 08:59:00 +0000

A new season is upon us. Only seconds ago we were at Wembley (and no I'm not over it yet, thanks for asking) and now a new season is about to kick off. But meanwhile it has hardly been quiet down at Parc Ninian this summer. Whilst building of the new stadium has continued (not sure about those blue tiles - it's starting to look like a public loo - I suppose in keeping with tradition of the bob bank's famous old urinals), Cardiff's management have been excelling themselves in various ways.

A million quid?

You wouldn't mind if it was a million quid for a new striker, but for Publicity Pete Ridsdale? You've got to be kidding. Half a mill salary (Yes, just like you I'm thinking I'm in the wrong business), topped off with a half million bonus. For bloody what? For gettting of of Sam the Sham? Wooly Booly is all I can say. But that's alright, he'e "put it back in the club". Now hang on a minute, I'm not that stupid, what you mean is that a large chunk of City shares have been handed over to Ridsdale. For no reason at all except that he can get away with it.

Old and new strikers

Fowler pissing off to Blackburn was (probably) good news. City weren't likely going to sell any more 'Fowler 8' shirts anyway, and he was unlikely to play either.

The Hasselbaink mismanagement joke is another story. Another case of Mr Ridsdale either being incompetent or a liar. Put it this way - either Ridsdale really thought Hasselbaink had agreed to forego a year's contract (and a year's pay) for no consideration at all, and without putting it in writing - which is what Ridsdale says happened,or Ridsdale is telling porkies. Either way, it's another example of Publicity Pete fucking up, whilst "at the helm" (Lord save us).

Also spectacularly well-handled have beedn the non-signings of Boyd from Rangers (never was going to come), Bent from Charlton (can you blame him?) and Cooper from Dallas (Would have gone to Rosenberg anyway if they' let him leave - and only likely to ever join us at Christmas if we're looking like proper promotion hopefuls). Incredibly badly managed public relations (whose fault? Half a million bonus anyone?).

Meanwhile, no one is getting over excited at the signings of McCormack and Bothroyd, not least because it is clear from Motherwell internet messageboards that most of them were glad to see the back of McCormack, whilst the scoring records of both strikers just about match of to Steve "Transfer-listed" (sorry that should have read "Thommohawk") Thompson. Bloody hell. Anyone want to put money on Parry ending up as top scorer again? Oh yes and we're all extremely excited by the signings of Kennedy (Too old, Palace reject), Comminges (OK, a back up left back), Dennehy (reserve Everton centre back with NO league appearances to his name), Heaton (a 12 year old reserve goalie) and "glue hands" Enckelman. That's right, I haven't got over the FA Cup Final.

Going..... up?

Despite all the club spin (top six place, promotion this year before we get in our new stadium etc.) you may have noticed various experts in the press publishing their opinion on where we'll finish. NOT ONE believes we'll finish in the top six,and all have us somewhere between 9th and 12th. Personally I reckon 13th - so even I don't think we're going down, unlike someone I know who thinks that not only are we going down, we'll also go into administration. See? I'm being positive here.We've still got a good midfield, even without Ramsay (although I am not clear why Scimeca was offered another contract), with Rae, McPhail, Whittingham and Ledley - hoping we can keep him given that there's still a couple of weeks until the transfer deadline. Our defence is OK (but really probably not as good as they are being made out to be - if they could be taught to pass it might help), and we actually now have a couple of forwards - but no one thinks they'll set the world on fire. So there it is. Mid table mediocrity is the best we can expect. But they key thing, ok course, is ending up above (and beating) the Jacks. Sorry, but it's true.

Anyway I look forward to being proved wrong in April, when Bothroyd knocks his 30th goal of our season in to guarantee City automatic promotion.Or McCormack. Or Thompson. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sorry, only joking - as they say football is a funny old game. But really, not THAT funny.

Wembley Flag

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:51:00 +0000

A Languedoc Bluebirds flag was a definite necessity for the FA cup final- so here it is.

I never felt more like singing the Blues

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:29:00 +0000

Wemberley

“We’re the famous Cardiff City and we’re going to Wemberley, Wemberley!!”. It must have been a hell of a shock for the many City fans arriving at Wembley for the semi-final to discover that it is actually spelt “W_E_M_B_L_E_Y”. Mind you, this has foxed England fans for many years now, who believe that they support a team called “Ingerland” who play at “Wemberley”. T’s amazing they ever get to a match. I can imagine them wondering for hours around London looking for this mythical “Wemberley”, ignoring all directions to “Wembley Central” or “Wembley Park”, “Why isn’t our national stadium on the tube?” they cry.

Wear the shirt

God but it was fun going to the semi final and watching City win. Unbelievable. I can’t believe I was there, and can’t believe I’m going to be there again on May 17th. But there I will be, with overpriced ticket in my sticky hands, happily shelling out for overpriced programmes, beer and pies. Little change will be had from an obscene amount of money I am not prepared to divulge (you may remember that I live in France).

One of the key decisions that needed to be taken for the semi final was what to wear. Which was my ‘lucky’ shirt? Should I wear a shirt I had never worn before? Should I wear my as yet unworn 2007/8 city shirt or my old city shirt from the 50s? or the one from the 60s? Or should I wear my 1927 club shirt? This year’s model? Lst year’s? maybe I shouldn’t wear a City shirt at all? To be safe, before I left France I packed every possible option, and on the day, fortunately the weather took care of the decision. With snow pouring down the decision was easy: I would wear them all.

But now I am left with an even bigger problem. Having forked out a million pounds or so for a special commemorative City shirt (black, of course), AND a commemorative 1927 club shirt my choices are even wider. AND, to make matters more complicated Mrs Socrates is coming to the final as well, and she wants to know what shirt she should wear. How should I know? I am having my own sartorial and superstition nightmare – don’t bring yours in too! Do I stick with the lucky three shirts I wore for the Barnsley match, or do risk a new shirt? What’s the weather going to be like? It’s lovely and sunny here in France, but London in May? Who knows? But I think that’s it – leave it to the last minute, let the weather decide . It may not be feasible to wear all six shirts – no wait a minute, that’s seven, I forgot about my new ‘Robin Friday’-style stripey shirt - I intend bringing, but who knows? It may snow again.

My biggest fear is that we’ll miss the game while Mrs S is still unable to decide what to wear to the match. Just as long as it’s blue. Or black. Or maybe with yellow and white stripes…. Aaaargh!!

Money

According to the local Welsh press City have made over £2m from their FA cup run in prizes, gate money and TV rights, and that’s beore they get to the final, sell lots of extra new shirts, loads and loads of season tickets etc. God the whole thing must have made millions. And yet what is Mr Ridsdale saying? “All our players are for sale”. Bloody hell. “All the players have a price”. OK, he says the price has gone up, but by how much? And does anyone really want to buy Steve Thompson?

Optimistically I had hoped that next season we might have a few new players, not a few less. But there you go.

FA Cup strikers

One of the stupidest decisions I have seen Dave Jones make (and really there haven’t been that many) was playing Parry in the West Brom game. The previous week I had been chatting with a number of City fans who all unanimously agreed that Parry needed a rest. He had played (up until then) virtually every game, and ran and ran and ran. Shirley the sensible thing to do before the semi final was to give the man a rest? This turned out to be horribly prescient, as Parry was, as you know, injured and has missed loads of games since then, including the semi final, and all of us are crossing our fingers that he is fit for the final.

Meanwhile, it seems there is an outside chance of Robbie Fowler making a comeback for the final – or at least being on the bench. Hard to believe, but there you go. Jones has expressed a worry though, that Fowler hasn’t “done any running”. However, this didn’t seem to affect his game before the injury, and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink has played almost an entire season without doing any running…

We’re all grateful though that we can turn to the services of Steve “thommohawk” Thompson. What has happened to him since his bananaboat injury? I know he never used to score goals, but he always looked like he was useful, like he served a purpose on the pitch. Now he doesn’t even serve a porpoise. (A contender for pointless surreal pun of the year?).

As for Warren Feeney, it is such a blow he’s cup-tied, when he’s doing so well at the moment in the league. Altogether now “We’ve lost that Warren Feeney, oh that Warren feeney, we’ve lost that Warren Feeney now he’s gone, gone, gone.. Woah-oh-oh”. Ok, technically he hasn’t gone. Yet.

Losing in the league winning in the cup

Our recent form has been really lousy, especially against Scunthorpe and Wolves. But generally our away form this season has been pretty terrible, apart from in the cup. City haven’t managed ONE away win in 2008, and in their last 12 away games have managed one win and six draws. Meanwhile during the same period City have won four cup games away from home. Strange, but true.

Sweet FA and lovely Michel

First the English FA announces that there is no way City would be allowed to play in the UEFA Cup should they win the FA Cup. Then Michel Platini (what a great player he was) the current head of UEFA announces that UEFA would be very unhappy if the English FA didn’t let Cardiff play in the UEFA Cup should they win the FA Cup. The English FA thinks about their bid to hold the World Cup in 2018, and thinks about the support it needs from UEFA, and then the English FA announces that if City win the FA Cup they will qualify for the UEFA Cup. Yippee.

The the following item appears in the paper: “Former FAW secretary Alun Evans says the FA's plan to allow Cardiff to play in Europe if they win the FA Cup is a "backward step" for Welsh football.” The Mr Ridsdale throws his toys out of the pram and says Cardiff may leave the Welsh FA then.

What a load of nonsense. Maybe Mr Ridsdale needs to note a couple of things:

1. Alun Evans has always been an annoying tosser who makes outlandishly stupid statements that the welsh press love to quote.

2. Alun Evans is the FORMER FAW secretary. So who cares?

Cup final songs

It’s always nice to finish on a song. So I assume that all of you have heard the latest hit single recorded by a very famous person who none of us have ever heard of featuring the fantastic lines “at the helm is Peter Ridsdale” (stop laughing at the back, boy – no – you, with the Leeds shirt, stop it). Anyway, I’ll be singing along. Not with that pile of shite though. I really like the Helen Love/Super Furry Animals cup final song: Cardiff City Superstars. Get yours here: http://www.ccmb.co.uk/superstarswembley.mp3

I also quite like this: Leighton James Don't Like Us:

O Bluebird of Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:06:00 +0000

Why a bluebird? Sams criticism of our nickname and mascot, and symbol
of the club Im sure has set many thinking. We are the Bluebirds, and
we want to stay the Bluebirds, and were called the Bluebirds
because.....

Well, many fans (who have read Graham Lloyds excellent Cmon City)
will have an idea that Citys founder Bart Wilson got the name from a
play The Blue Bird by Maurice Maeterlinck, a Belgian playwright and
poet, which was playing in Cardiff at the time Wilson changed the
shirts to blue, the name to Cardiff City, and we entered the football
league. What many wont know is that Maeterlinck is actually that
famed elusive character - a famous Belgian, who wrote many symbolist
plays, stories and poems (over 60 volumes) and was a winner of the
Nobel prize for Literature in 1911. But why Maeterlinck? (Who was more
likely to be an Anderlecht supporter than anything else), and why this
play? Perhaps it helps to know that the play was an allegorical
fantasy conceived as a play for children that denies the reality of
death - a tale of two children searching for the Bluebird of
Happiness - actually written in 1909, with the shadow of World War 1
looming large. It also helps to know that the play was extremely well
known, and had been made into a film a number of times, even by 1920 -
the most notable being in 1918, by surrealist/symbolist French film
director Maurice Tourneur.

The search for the Bluebird of Happiness is perhaps the key to all of
this. For, it transpires, the Bluebird is not (like Im sure many of
you, like me, thought) a mythological creature, but a real bird, an
inhabitant (mainly) of America, a relative of the plain old thrush,
and historically it is said(this apparently originates from Shamanism)
the Bluebird brings happiness, joy and contentment. All birds are
messengers to the Great Spirit. Therefore, whenever you see Bluebird,
ask for happiness and your prayer will fly to Sky Father on the wings
of Bluebird.

Thus the symbolism of Therell be blue birds over the white cliffs
of Dover..

and the probably less well-known:

Blue skies smilin' at me
Nothin' but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singin' a song
Nothin' but blue skies from now on

(Blue Skies - Irving Berlin, 1934).

There have also been other lesser known songs featuring bluebirds, for
example Bluebird Of Happiness as sung by Frank Sinatra, and
Bluebird sung by Anne Murray.

Of course the symbolism of the bluebird was not lost on Bart Wilson,
nor on others at the time - for example Sir Malcolm Campbell, who
named his famous world-beating car The Bluebird

So, the Bluebird is a symbol of optimism, of hope and of happiness.
Not something, I would suggest, that Cardiff should lose. Its a shame
that the history and knowledge of the symbolism of the bluebird has
all but disappeared, but I would suggest that the problem would not
have even arisen had the most famous bluebird tune gone Therell be
bluebirds over the grey slates of Grangetown..

And whats Sams alternative to the Bluebird? A dragon. Whilst no one
would argue that the dragon is a fine symbol of Wales, and a magical
symbol, like the Bluebird, that invokes the history and magic of
Wales, it is hard to forget that the dragon was slain by that Maltese
symbol of England, St. George, and who needs reminding of that? So
lets stick with a positive symbol, a symbol of hope, happiness and
joy, a bluebird.

And perhaps we should forget all the debates about whether the
Bluebirds should run out to the sound of the Super Furry Animals or
Catatonia or The Manic Street Preachers, and go back to the days of
Bart Wilson and run out, as they did in those days, to the sounds of
Happy Days are Here Again.

Whatever the tune, I know what well all be shouting:
Blooooooooooobirds!

The Final Countdown...starts here

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:52:00 +0000

Guess where I was on Sunday.

England are you listening

Keep your trophy glistening

We're coming in May

To take it away

Walking in a Cardiff wonderland.

What a weekend. It's hard to believe it, but the Bluebirds have reached the final. Yes the FA Cup final. So many good things about that....

Que sera sera

Put the champagne on ice

we're going to Wembley twice

Que sera sera

All Blacks

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:32:00 +0000

City will be wearing black at Wembley for "good footballing reasons" according to the official website . They think wearing white shorts will cause them "considerable difficulty with regards to distinguishing which players to pass to". From what I've seen this season the kit colour hasn't made any difference to this. At Colchester last Saturday, despite wearing all black, this seemed not to improve passing to the right player.

But it's the "lucky kit", obviously. Until they lose. Then the lucky kit will be a different one. Let's hope that's at the Charity Shield, eh?

WEMBLEY!

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:28:00 +0000

We're the famous Cardiff City and we're going to Wemberly, Wemberly, Wemberly

Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, we're going to Wemberly.

Socrates is going to Wembley, his knees have gone all trembly, la la la la, la la la la.

Good to get all that out of the system.

Art Wanted?

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 21:15:00 +0000

I kind of like this widget, but Blogger doesn't seem too keen...

America, Jesus, Islam and France

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 10:58:00 +0000

Just a few images I found on the internet that mused me this week:

Reach out and touch toast. Ever seen John Waters' "Pecker"? Great film. "Full of Grace!".
Nor me.

They'll never find Osama

I agree. Absolutely.
See above.
Now this is more like it.

Bricks, the FAW. And what the hell is wrong with Blogger?

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Fancy a brick? For a mere sixty odd quid you can buy a brick from Cardiff City with your name or some other text on it. Like "Jones Out!" or the more surreal "I like cheese" or my personal favourite "Je ne regrette rien". Sadly, despite this exciting innovation no one at CCFC has learned to spell: "Seperate the two lines with a coma" the website advises. (click here). Presumably this coma is induced by watching one of City's FAW Cup games. Interestingly (more interesting than the game) the Newport side that knocked City out of the FAW cup featured more players with City first team experience than the city side did. But then again they did have a range of ex-Bluebird heroes such as Jason Bowen, Lee Jarman and damon "Not a Girl" Searle. Great stuff.

Meanwhile Blogger is driving me mad I tell you. Can't cut and paste properly any more, things moved around so that words get split. Bloody hell, it's almost enough to make you go back to WordPress. Anyway, I've changed to black because I got sick of the sight of my old Blog, and i thought that might help things, seeing as how I'd played with the html. But no. Now I just have a black, depressing Blog. Strangely still popular in Belgium. Hello Belgium! Get a life!

More unedited TBL stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 17:25:00 +0000

Doomed

As predicted in the last issue of TBL, Jones has been sacked and the bluebirds inevitable tumble to the bottom of the table has continued. Thank god I didn’t have any money on that. But what changes has the wily Mr
Jones made? Has he brought in new players? No. Has he instituted new tactics? No. What has he done? Played Parry up front. That’s about it really, apart from playing Gunter for a couple of games before flogging him to Spurs. But Parry up front? How has that worked? It’s not like it hasn’t been tried before – and failed miserably. Can anyone explain it? The worrying thing is I don’t think Jones can, eithe

r: he has one tactic and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It clearly helps though when we’re all calling for Jones’ head. So “Jones out!” I say.

One thing Jones really is inconsistent at – and I challenge anyone to dispute this – is buying/picking strikers. Chopra – brilliant. Jerome – fantastic. Fowler - er.. Hasselbaink – hmm… Byrne – ha ha ha. But he does get points for selling them for lots of money. We got loads of money for Jerome and Chopra (I make it about £9m – what happened to that money eh?), and as for the reported £500,000 for Steve McLean: What? Half a

million? Bloody hell. It is reported that Sturrock at Plymouth who managed him before (crucially before he broke his leg) really rates him. As someone I know said, it’s a shame we didn’t have an old bit of rope he used to tether his dog with that we could flog him. (Cheers Darren).

But as another person I know says, it may turn out that McLean comes good at Plymouth, like Lee at Ipswich. On the other hand, why was Fleetwood let go? How many goals has he scored at Forest Green? 175,000? How much were Crew prepared to pay for him? £28? I may be confused there…

Robbie Fowler’s tragic
He wear’s a tragic hat. And when he signed for Cardiff he said “oh no there goes my back”. Strange to hear that D

ave Jones was on a radio phone in recently attacking David Giles’ attack on Fowler in the Western mail. (And if you find a clumsier sentence in this issue of TBL please write to the Editor). It’s hard to believe Jones wants him for another year even though he can barely walk – unless of course the reported £15,000 plus a week deal depended on appearances. Or maybe Fowler is Jones’ landlord and he doesn’t want him to get too upset about the stains on the wallpaper.

Genius supporters

The recently reported story of the City “fan” (or as ably described by the Echo: “football thug”) being banned from football grounds for another five years after breaking his existing ban to watch City v Wolves. Colin Cody was originally banned for six years after his involvement in the little bit of bother at the famous Leeds game in 2002. Adding to his genius credentials he was locked up in jail in 2004 after driving a van into the front of Fairwater Police Station, shouting “I did it for the Soul Crew”. The first thing he does after coming out is to head for Ninian Park. In addition to his banning order and a 12 month community rehabilitation order, Cody was ordered by the judge to take part in “an enhanced thinking skills programme”. An “enhanced thinking skills programme”?? It makes you think, eh? Actually it turns out this is a real programme, and appears to have been pioneered in Gwent. I used my thinking to work that out. Well, actually, it was Google. Same thing really.

New Kit Old Kit

Having realised that many people preferred to buy an old fashioned shirt from TOFFS, or to stick “Fowler 8” on the back of an old blue T Shirt which looks vaguely like an old city shirt from 1953 (or was that only me?), City have decided to cash in and asked fans to choose a “new” badge and shirt, based on old-style options. Unsurprisingly fans chose the 70s style shirt with the stripes that is most associated with the photo of Robin Friday sticking his fingers up at the Luton keeper he’s just beaten, and chose the last but one badge – the one that Hammam got rid of th

at everyone liked. However, I predict a problem in replica shirt sales etc: many people have already GOT the 70s shirt and won’t both to buy a new one, and many people have still got their pre-Hammam mugs, keyrings etc, that they can now get out of their drawers. Or carry on using because they never cared that much anyway. Also, you can already buy a fake old-fashioned style stripey shirt from the club shop, made of cotton and costing less than a new replica shirt. So why would anyone buy a new replica next season? Especially when a blue t shirt is so much cheaper. And that “Fowler 8” might last another season yet.

The (non) return of Earnie and the story of the messageboard

Want to get a story in the national press? Make up a silly rumour and spread it on the Cardiff City Mad message board. Personally, I haven’t looked at the messageboard for a long, long time (so if you see anyone called Gary Socrates posting there it’s not me – it’s happened before), but it appears a lot of people do, including the local south Wales press, when they’re short of a story or two. “Earnie’s coming back to City on loan” writes some fantasist authoritatively on the messageboard, then the rumour gets printed in the Echo or the Western Mail. Next thing you know it’s on the BBC website (because those hacks haven’t got any better way of getting stories than scanning local papers) and someone’s phoning Earnie and he’s denying the whole thing, and Paul Jewell’s making comments and so on. It’s easy see. It was on my blog this summer where I wrote how stupid transfer rumours were, and that there was bound to be a rumour soon that Hasselbaink was coming to Cardiff after Leicester had knocked him back. See what happened? (Actually I deny all knowledge and refuse to take the blame for that one). On the other hand, have you heard the story about Bellamy coming to city on loan? No? Nor me. Yet.

Transfer window

Out of the transfer window (Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! SPLAT!) goes Byrne, Gunter and McLean (no-one else as I write). In comes….. Enckleman. A premiership goalie with loads of experience. Well. Not really: Since Blackburn signed him in November 2003 he’s played a grand total of 3 games. Awe-inspiring, eh? It’s not that I think we desperately need new players. Well, no, actually it is. Hasselbaink is no good, Fowler is injured and possibly finished, Sinclair and Scimeca don’t look like making an early return, and with these players out and gone it is clear we’re short a full back, a goalie (maybe – see above), and a forward. Up front we’ve got Parry, Hasselbaink and Thommo. With Warren Feeney to return to fitness sometime in February, it is rumoured. In midfield we’ve got cover from the kids: Blake and Ramsay, but our squad is getting really threadbare. And if the rumours about bids for Ledley, Parry and Thomson finally happen before the end of January we’re unlikely to replace any of them with anyone worth signing. Now that number 44 (Gunter) has gone, the highest squad number is now 36 (Hasselbaink). But that’s misleading (it’s his age next birthday) because the following numbers are all missing: 9, 17, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 32, 33, 34, and 35. And number 31 is 17 year old youth goalkeeper Josh McGuiness. We’re doomed I tell you. Jones out!

City star in World Cup

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:15:00 +0000

Cardiff coach Charlie Cook has been called up to play for the Turks and Caicos islands in a qualifier against St Lucia. 35 year old Cook(unfortunately nothing to do with the ex-Chelsea star Charlie Cooke) lived there for a few years and qualifies – and has played for them before. They’ve picked him because he turns out regularly for Grange Quins. After this call up,expect Dave Jones to give him a game or two, and then try to flog him on to
Spurs.

A quick bit of internet research into the Turks and Caicos Islands football team is ranked 168^th in the world. The FIFA website says that Beaches FC are top of their league, while their own website at www.football.tc, gives you the news that Turquoise look like winning the 2006/7 season. Hmmm, there’s a well maintained
website. Also, down the bottom of the site is the following message:

"CALLING TC ISLANDERS - YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU

If you originate from the Turks & Caicos Islands and are playing soccer overseas you could be eligible to represent the Turks & Caicos Islands in future international competitions. Click here for more information."

Unfortunately, there's nothing there to click – which is why I guess 35 year old City coaches get called up.

TBL won’t pay me to go and write a report of the crucial St Lucia game, so if you want to follow Charlie Cook’s fortunes you’ll just have to sort it out for yourself.

New Design

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:30:00 +0000

I have also decided to blind anyone who tries to read my blog.

and can I really mess with the fonts like what Blogger say, as it were?

Hey, we'll soon see.

Widget

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:56:00 +0000

This post to my blog is done via a new widget on my dashboard. Life doesn't get more exciting than that.

There is no reason in England's dreaming

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:13:00 +0000

The English are a strange race. I say this as someone who considers themselves to be half English, but obviously I am not strange. They have extraordinary - I was going to say 'faith' but that's wrong, no they have extraordinary arrogance about themselves. Obviously this includes their hapless football team, not to mention their rugby and cricket teams, but also about other aspects of the 'English Way Of Life'. I obviously have to deal with the football first. I still can't believe how much they screwed up. I will admit that the other night, when Israel won and gave England their chance to qualify (with only a draw at home) I though how sweet it would be for them to lose to Croatia (even though I can't stand those anti-semitic nazis), but I never believed it would happen. I even thought at 93 minutes with the game over that Andorra were going to score an unlikely equaliser against Russia to put England through, just what normally happens to those lucky buggers. But no, the dream came true. OK, accuse me of Schadenfreude (especially as Wales were managing a draw away at Germany at the same time), I can take it. It's just the way the English are so smug. They feel they have a right to qualify for the European Championships - and the World Cup of course - if not a right to win the damn thing. Why? The England football team have not been as good as many European teams now for many years - Germany, Italy, France, Croatia, Holland, Spain, Portugal, the Czech Republic - all of these teams (and possibly some others: Turkey, Russia, Greece...) have performed better than England on a regular basis. But, the English wail, we've got such great players: Gerrard, Rooney, Lampard, Ferdinand, Diver - oops, I mean Owen,... yeah, yeah, yeah. And to a point this is true: these are good players. But the Italians, French, Dutch etc all have good players too. Some of them better. And this is pretty obvious, since many of them actually play in England, so you would think the english might notice. They also might notice that the bloke who played that glorious through pass for Olic to score Croatia's second goal plays for Arsenal .... reserves.

Some respected commentators (good lord, including the normally intelligent David Conn) are suggesting the fault is that too many foreigners play in the Premier league. No, the problem is far more obvious than that: the players are not as good as they think they are - and their manager is truly hopeless. If you think about it, if English players were any good, far more of them would be playing abroad, for big teams like Barcelona, Real Madrid, Milan etc. But no, only Beckham plays abroad (for the high powered LA Galaxy) and we all know about that. Apart from that there was Hargreaves in Germany, recently - but that's because he's really German (or Canadian, or Welsh) and otherwise there doesn't seem to be a lot of foreign managers desperately looking at British talent. Except for the perennial bizarre rumour that Barca want the terminally incompetent Lampard.

But it is not just in their attitude towards sport that the english have their unfounded superiority complex. With the ongoing industrial and political disputes here in France, it has been interesting to read what the English viewpoint is. Generally, commentators keep repeating, thye French way of life is impossible, they are due for a major economic disaster to befall them, and that Sarkosy will lead them towards the Thatcher/Blair light where everything will be perfect. It is true that the French have economic problems - there is a large debt, and a problem with a large Black economy because of the perceived high levels of direct and indirect taxation. But the full picture is more interesting. Those same reports might mention in passing that French workers are the most productive workers in Europe for the hours they work, but for some reason the commentators believe they should stop doing reasonable 35 hour weeks with decent lunch hours, and work the British way. Forgetting that British workers (actually the reports usually say English, so let's stick with that) are the least productive hourly. Actually, this is usually mentioned in a different article slagging off trade unions and again in a different article praising Polish workers - which is a different article again to the one complaining about all the immigrants taking jobs away from the english. (Hmmm, that sounds similar to the football argument, doesn't it?). And as for debt, no it is true, the UK does not have the same level of debt, on the face of it, to the French. Except that that is not quite the case really, because UK debt just doesn't show on paper - because instead of the normal method of borrowing favoured by most countries (and people), by borrowing money from a bank and repaying plus interest over however many years this has been greed, successive UK governments have raised cash by selling off the family silver. The french may owe money, but at least they still own their schools, hospitals, government buildings, government departments - and their army while we're at it. In the UK all of this has been parcelled over to the private sector in a PFI initiative. Whilst France might get further in debt, the UK is going to end up with nothing to borrow against.

But of course the English are right. Who on earth wants a two hour lunch break? Who wants a 35 hour week? Who wants decent holidays? Who wants excellent health care? Who wants an excellent schools system? Who wants to retire at 50? Who wants protection for the poor?

The UK relies more and more upon the private and voluntary sectors to deliver services and to support its vulnerable people. The argument that the public sector is not able to deliver such services as well surely no longer holds water? The evidence is all around that privatisation of public services, and the subsequent demoralisation of state staff by depicting them as lazy incompetent wastrels, and paying them low wages for what are deemed 'low-value' jobs (i.e. teachers, firemen, nurses) has been a disaster. Thatcher, followed by Blair and now brown have laid waste to England. The English boast of the success of their economy (whilst growth levels tumble and unemployment rises) at the same time as complaining about how awful things are: floods, the price of petrol, foot and mouth, the NHS, teachers..... and yet the English really think the French aspire to be like them. Well, maybe a few do in Paris, as they look at their wages in comparison to the UK. But who can afford to live in the UK? Fewer and fewer. More houses needed, population getting older...

The French have problems. The English have problems. Meanwhile the French have great public services, great wine, great food and a football team that qualifies for the European Championship. The French know this. Do the English?

Robbie Fowler's magic...

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:58:00 +0000

I should be supporting an exciting team that splashes out enormous wages for huge stars, instead I find myself supporting a bunch of duffers with two very old slow, lazy duffers up front. I think it's time to start with Thompson and McLean. Alternatively get Feeney back from the Jacks, and Green back from the Donkeys. Did someone mention Jason Byrne? Is he still here? Aaaaargh!.

At least Feeney's got a good song.

le Ponderer returns

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:29:00 +0000

Just like TBL, it has taken a bit of time for me to sort myself out and get back to this. Months have passed and so little has happened in Cardiff City land (not to mention in mine).

From now on I will be writing this stuff from the sunny south of France, where the Socrates’ household is now based. Ah, this is the life, 35 degrees centigrade, a cool glass of the local white wine, I bit of bread, cheese. C’est la vie.

On Strike

Meanwhile in the home of the greatest football team the world has ever seen (they sing it so it must be true) interesting things have been happening. Chopra has gone off to premiership pastures, but City now boast a squad with 7 strikers. Really: Fowler, Hasselbaink, McLean, Feeney, Greene, Byrne and Thompson. Seven strikers. Two who earn a fortune and don’t play (at time of writing), one who plays and has managed to score one goal from the 247 chances presented to him, another who sometimes plays and might score one day in the distant future (but not for us, nor probably the Jacks, another who the manager thinks is too ‘raw’ (what does he want? Cooked strikers?) another whom no one is sure the point of, and another one with a broken leg – who is on the transfer list. And this doesn’t count Parry, who of course IS NOT a striker, but Jones seems to think can play up front. So no surprise then to City still linked with another truckload of strikers, including Davies at Oldham, Howards at Derby, and Vine at Birmingham.

Personally, I have noticed quite a lot of other forwards doing well, whom we should be watching, including Alan Lee at Ipswich, Rob Earnshaw at Derby, Michael Chopra at Sunderland, and not to mention non-league high scorers Leo Fortune-West at Cambridge and top scorer with 5 goals from 4 games for Halifax – Andy Campbell. To top that, I even saw Richie Wellens score two goals for Hartlepool the other day.

Jimmy Floyd

Of course anyone who bothered to read my last post several months ago will have noticed that I pooh-poohed the idea of City signing Hasselbaink. Mea Culpa - I was wrong. Let's also hope my assessment of his performances so far (bloody useless) also prove as wrong.

Fowler

I gather 3,000 Fowler 8 shirts were sold out of the club shop in one day. Apart from the fact it is hard to imagine the club shop being able to cope with that many orders, that’s a hell of a lot of shirts (especially for someone who hadn't kicked a ball when those shirts were sold), and I imagine a few more were sold thereafter. Also seen on Ninian Park terraces have been Number 8 ‘God’ shirts, in lieu of Fowler’s standing at Liverpool. Of course, there’s even more profit in these shirts, as they only have three letters on the back, but whatever, the margins are going to be better than for Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. I assume though, that all these shirt sales won’t pay for much more than a month of Fowler’s wages.

Of course Fowler and Hasselbaink weren’t our only summer signings, we signed some other players too. There was that bloke from Scotland, you know, what’s is name, and the other bloke who used to play on the left for England but plays on the right really, and there was that bloke from Sheffield and I think we got a keeper or two. Oh yes, and an Italian left back from Plymouth. Team of stars, we are.

Money money money

The other interesting thing that happened in Cardiff this summer was all the stuff about the £30m, £31m, £32m, £15m, £16m debt we have (please delete as applicable). We’re hardly alone in this, but football clubs really have become home to a bunch of corporate scoundrels on a major scale. Ridsdale’s record is not an enviable one, and as for Sam the Sham, what can be said? Mind you Woolly Bully was a great song. What do you mean that wasn’t him? Another illusion shattered.

Who owes whom how much though, is the interesting thing. And what for? Cardiff have SOLD over £15m worth of players in recent times (Chopra, Earnie, Jerome, Gabbidon Collins etc), and spent very little. Where on earth does all the debt come from? I think it may be time to start a revolution.

See, I’m getting all French already.

Internationals

For the first time in my life I have paid the Sky shilling so I can watch football whilst here in France. First night I get to watch Wales win and England lose. Should have done this years ago. But what I want to know is how come Germany have made Bryan Ferry their manager, and how come a Christian Panda scored the winner? Those missionaries have got a lot to answer for. Surely a panda should be Buddhist? Ignoring the Wales Germany game (as should be done by everyone) the Slovakia game was also magnificent. That Bellamy chap looks good. We should sign him. And that Ledley bloke on the left wing.

Loans

With Feeney of loan to the Jacks, it is hard to know who to feel sorrier for. On the other hand, what on earth were we doing paying £150,000 for a player whom we loan out straight away to Swansea? The strange thing is that we haven’t borrowed anyone ourselves, especially a defender, given the injuries to Purse and McNaughton. But then of course I forget, like everyone else, that when it comes to loans, outside of the premiership there isn’t a deadline until later in the year. Some time in November I gather, by which time the temperature here might have cooled too much for me to be typing in my swimsuit. There’s an image that you didn’t need, eh? Anyway, the other interesting thing about the Feeney loan, was that while the BBC was reporting it had happened, ICWales was reporting that the deal had fallen through.

Further press accuracy was provided by Sky, who was reported that Jason Byrne’s contract had been terminated. Which I gather it hadn’t. I bet that gave him a hell of a fright though. Bloody hell, can you imagine it: you get home from work to reado on the news that you’ve lost your job… Excuse me… who can I sue?

Time wasting all over Europe

I refer to Facebook, of course, that internet time waster enjoyed by many. Anyway, I joined a couple of months ago, mainly as a way of keeping in touch with people I no longer see who live in the UK (have I mentioned that I live in France?). This includes several City fans, but one thing I never expected was an invitation to become one of Earnie's friends on Facebook - why I don't know - _but I couldn't resist accepting. But from looking at his profile I learn he's considering a move _to Charlton and is a Scientologist. I'm sure that proves some unwritten rule_about not knowing too much about your idols. I am deeply disillusioned. I assumed he was a Buddhist, with a long held desire to return to Cardiff. Oh well.

A little pizza history

We have made one or two new friends here in France, including our local pizza man (of course). As well as making some damn fine pizzas, he is also a major Marseille fan, and an appreciator of Chris “magic” Waddle (as he was apparently known in France. Anyway, in appreciation of me emailing him a link to a Youtube video of Waddle and Hoddle singing Diamond Lights I received an invite to join him at the Velodrome in December, for the game against Liverpool. I will be forced to sit in the Marseille end and shout abuse at some scousers, but I am sure I will get over this trauma.

And a big "hi" to my lovely lying Belgium audience.

City not Signing...

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 15:21:00 +0000

In the last few days IC Wales has completely run out of Cardiff City transfer stories. So much so they have resorted to reporting who Cardiff are not signing. So far this has included ex-City captain Graham Kavanagh and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink. You can see how the various reporters are working. Sitting in their office someone notices Hasselbaink is available. "Reckon City will sign him?" the hack says to his colleague. "Maybe, let's phone Ridsdale". So they Phone the club, get a denial, and there is there story. In the case of the Kavanagh non-story they phone Kav's agent too, who tells them that he hasn't had a game for a few months and might be interested if a team like Cardiff came in. Bang. An exclusive: "City Rule Out Bid For Kav". Pretty weak.

I am hoping that this is all happening in alphabetical order, and am looking forward to the shock headline: "Bluebirds Deny Interest in Zidane". And suddenly we will have re-signed Leo Fortune-West while the press have their back turned. Mind you, that might be an improvement on Thompson. Or Byrne.

I hope we do sign someone new, but I am getting the sinking feeling that as players and agents are approached by Mr Ridsdale they have a tendency to react like any other normal person - to run away as fast as they can keeping their hands tightly on their wallets.

Conversation overheard

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 17:32:00 +0000

"So I said to her, if you're going to get a vibrator don't get one bigger than, mine. 'Cause I don't want to feel inadequate. And she said, alright then, I'll just use the battery"

Hello Belgium

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 13:11:00 +0000

One fascinating thing about running your own website is that you can keep track of all your visitors. Every now and then when I have the off free moment, I find it interesting to do this: to check which sites are referring most visitors, to check whether links on other sites are being used etc. Sometimes some interesting but useless things crop up. For example, when I used to work at IVAC we realised that the CIA were a regular visitor to our website. I suppose they were really interested in the voluntary secdtor in Islington. Or they were so stupid they confused IVAC with IRAQ. They rhyme if you say it the American way. Obviously.

Which brings me to the fascinating fact that I seem to get a lot of visits from all over the world from people typing "toosh" into their search engines. I have absolutely no idea why they would do such a thing. My guess is they are looking for someting racy - but when they get to the toosh website are severely disappointed to discover nothing more exciting than this blog. Recent visitors have been from Italy, Japan, India, Holland and Belgium. Most fascinating is the thought of someone in Belgium typing "Gary Socrates London" into their search engine. Clearly a Cardiff City fan. There couldn't be any other explanation, could there?

Some people are strange.

Anyway, I found the above picture whilst looking for an image of Tintin, and given everything so far mentioned, I thought it worth putting here. Great isn't it?

Paris in the the Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Wed, 30 May 2007 19:26:00 +0000

Orangerie - Monets, originally uploaded by Gary Socrates.

Just back from a nice few days in Paris, for our wedding anniversery. Very rainy, but we had a good time. We saw Lucy and Chris, and limited our gallery visiting to the Picasso museum and the Orangeries. I went to the Orangerie many years ago, but I do not remember it having the effect it had on me this time. The paintings downstairs - especially the Cezannes and the Soutines, but also the Matisse were a fantastic start. The Monet waterlilies nearly made me cry.

I have lost my camera's battery charger - dog knows where - so only had my mobile phone to take pictures. Chris had been showing us his panoramic pictures, and this inspired me to play - especially at the Orangerie, but also elsewhere (see my flckr site for more silly photos - including one of the man juggling in the rain with a goldfish in a bowl on his head).

We ate (too) well, and enjoyed ourselves a lot. Soon, touch wood, we will be in France permanently.

2006-7 all over in 2006

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Thu, 10 May 2007 10:53:00 +0000

It's not been much fun being a Cardiff City fan in recent weeks. At the start of the season I hadn't expected much, and so I guess I got what I deserved. But after being top of the league, six points clear for a couple of months I think we had a right to expect a better finish than we got. We finished 13th - worse even than my predicted 9th. We did not win one single game out of our last nine, and in that run only managed two draws - the worst EVER finish of a season for Cardiff, in over 100 years of existence. Watching them was dreadful: I saw games at home, and away at Derby and QPR and it was awful. Our players seemed lost, lacking in cohesion, with no confidence, and some with - at least it seemed - with little motivation. True we had several injuries. True the players that came in were not good enough (especially Byrne and Walton). But the young players that came in - Gunter and Blake especially - did well, whilst more experienced players: Whittingham, Thompson, McPhail - just looked a waste of space.

And I guess Jones has to take the blame to a large extent, just like he rightly took the credit when we were top of the league. He managed to motivate that team into a confident group of players, passing the ball crisply and accurately, and beating all comers. Fantastic. Some of the best football I've EVER seen City play. But a few months later the team is completely demotivated. Quite apart from the injuries, Jones fell out with Alexander (after mucking him around with stupid contract offers it seems), after falling out with others earlier (Weston, Barker) and started saying things to the press that were of a different tone. Instead of backing players up and keeping things in the dressing room, Jones started publicly saying things about players that could not possibly help. I have to admit the treatment of Alexander, plus negative comments about Parry contrasted with public praise for Forde (who looks decidedly average, if not dodgy) has swayed me. Chopra stopped scoring, Thompson stopped looking like he could ever score, Whittingham started looking like he'd prefer to be playing for Villa reserves, Gilbert disappeared altogther, Ledley came and went. And we ended up the season with 8 strikers, none of them looking any good, except perhaps Green, who looks like he might have a future. But Byrne? useless. Redan? Hopeless. Campbell? Past it. Thompson? Couldn't hit a barn door. Ferretti? Gone. Glombard? Rubbish. Feeney? You're kidding. Which leaves Chopra, who has a mimimum fee release clause so will, no doubt, be gone this summer to the likes of Man City or Everton.

Seeing what Alan Lee has done at Ipswich is also worth noting: 17 goals this season. Jones didn't rate him. I am seriously concerned that Jones can only manage half a season. Only one other team has been top of the league at the end of October and then not even made the play offs, ever. That team? Wolves. Who was their manager? Dave Jones. Hmmmm.

I guess he deserves another season, and maybe I'll be taking this all back this time next year. I hope so, but I doubt it. With reportedly 17 players to leave and little or no money for new signings I guess next season we'll be playing with a lot of our kids. Ihope they are good enough. 17 to go is a hell of a lot, though - unless it includes loans. Without loans we only have a squad of 25 - and that includes more than a couple of teenagers who have never played.

On the positive side, Chopra's goals made me £72.50 at the bookies, plus another £20 from Earnie. Cheers boys.

I should also note that today is, according to Peter Ridsdale, 'A Historical Day', because all the money is now committed for the new stadium. Whoop de doo. £58m on a new stdium, and £5.80 on new players? Entertainingly, he also said that 'today is a day to saver'. Is that a Super Saver Pete?

Things I did do

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 09:04:00 +0000

Oh it has been a long time since i wrote this Blog - if you don't count the last entry. Went to Tintern Abbey, which is kind of beautiful and not-beautiful at the same time - it is amazing because of the contrasts, the setting and the size. I'll put a photo here but there's a lot more on my flickr site here. Ignoring the farcical bollocks that is Cardiff City v Sunderand, we went on to Shrewsbury, which was surprisingly really nice. We stayed in the most up-itself hotel in the world, The Pwince Wupert - advice, if in Shrewsbury stay somewhere else. They park your car for you, but otherwise the service is crap. Cold cooked breakfast, not enough towels, a tiny TV you can't see from the bed, capped off by ceilings charmingly lopw. It's a beautiful old tudor building that royalty once stayed in, but Christ they must have been short. After two cold breakfasts and me banging my head for the twentieth time we moved to Cromwells - a nice wine bar with rooms upstairs for half the price of Pwince Wupert.

Anyway, after that we went to Warwick (far too many w's in this blog) and went to the castle. Very nice but incredibly over-priced and commercialised. It was no surprise when we found out that it is owned by the Tussauds group, who own all the big theme parks like Chessington and Thorpe Park. But enjoyed watching the trebuchet being fired (cool) and the birds fly (see here.)

The weather was amazing, and has renained so until today, when it has finally clouded over and spots of rain have fallen out of the sky. Saturday I had a really nice day out in the pub with friends, comp[letely ruined by a football game in West London. The half time entertainment was interesting though. See things getting a bit sticky on the pitch below.

Meanwhile I am working a couple of days a week at Elvis, where I last worked 7 years ago. This time I am working on freelance rates which means I earn 50% more for two days' work than i did for five days then. Which is good. I am also entertained every morning by the lift, which is made by Schindler. Schindler's Lift. I still don't know why no one else thinks this is hilarious.

Oh well.

Things I didn't do

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 09:02:00 +0000

Go to Paris

Watch Cardiff City win

This Blog

The Big Fish

noreply@blogger.com (Gary Socrates) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:39:00 +0000

It has been hilarious listening to the radio the last couple of days hearing England fans complaining about how rubbish they are, and how McClaren should be sacked and Lampard dropped and Rooney too and.. and... and....

All that wailing drowned out the sad cries of Wales supporters, who lost 1-0 to Ireland. Not that terrible sounding, but Welsh people are not renowned for their optimistic viewpoint, so no surprise to hear a lot of moaning people coming back from Dublin. On the other hand, as a friend pointed out, this is the first time in living memory that Cardiff City would in all likelihood beat Wales in an imaginary game. Obviously Cardiff would get Ledley and Parry back, but then Wales do have Bellamy and Giggs. Not a lot else though. Simon Davies? No?

Anyway, both Wales and England are taking on the Big Fish this week, with Wales at home to San Marino (not much call for tickets I hear) and England away to Andorra. Andorra are rated 163rd in the world according to FIFA. A quick background check into Andorra's form tells me that they have actually won two games since their inception in 1996, beating Belarus 2-0 in 2000, and Albania 2-0 in 2002. More recently (October 2006) they lost 7-0 to Croatia.

Wales' opponents, San Marino, are ranked 196th (it makes you wonder who all those nations are between 163 and 196 -England? Wales?) and their team was established 6 years earlier than the Andorran team in 1990. Their best ever victory (only victory actually, but who's quibbling?) was a 1-0 win over Liechenstein in 2004. More recently, last September they lost to Germany 13-0. Interestingly, Liechenstein are ranked one place higher than Andorra, and their best ever victory was against Luxembourg - a magnificent 4-0 away victory in 2004. On to Luxembourg: they are ranked in between San Marino and Andorra at 178. Their biggest victory was in 1948 when they thrashed Afghanistan 6-0. You can see where I'm going with this, can't you: Afghanistan are ranked just behand Luxembourg at 179, and their biggest win was in 2003 against the well known nation of Kyrgyzstan when they won 2-1. Bloody hell, fancy having to make up a country just to win. Anyway, following the trail it turns out Kyrgyzstan is a real country and they are almost a proper team, being ranked 145. Fantastically their biggest ever win was against the Maldives in 1997, thrashing them 6-0. The Maldives, however, spit on the likes of Andorra with their lofty ranking of 158, and their best ever win was against (I love this) Mongolia, who they absolutely hammered 12-0 in 2003. Really. 12-0. Mind you you should note their 17-0 defeat to Iran in 1997.

Anyway, on to Mongolia - we're back down to 184, and a cracking 5-0 against Guam in 2003. (Honestly I am not making these up). We're reaching low, low levels here, with Guam ranked down at 199 in the FIFA rankings. But don't think this is the end, no no. Before moving on we should note Guam's biggest ever defeat which was when they lost 21-0 to North Korea in 2003, but the game I wouldn't have minded seeing was the Guam victory over Pohnpei (no I don't know who they are either) in 1998 where they won 16-1. Really. 16-1. A team SO MUCH WORSE than 199th in the world Guam they lost 16-1. So let's find out about Pohnpei: It turns out to be one of the four federated states of Micronesia (honestly - look on the right) and their team is not affiliated to FIFA. They have never won a game, although in 2001 they did celebrate a 1-1 draw at home to Yap (another of the Micronesian islands), and (as Wikipedia says - where else did you think I was getting this stuff?) some say they are the worst football team in the world. City have just signed their striker. Warren Feaney.

And there are no easy games in football, as they say. Except for the Scots, who play Italy tomorrow. Piece of cake.